Superman really is a cunt

First, I would like to say sorry for having to use a fix width for this article. I couldn’t do it any other way. Click read more to read the actual article.

Super heroes are something a lot of children used to dream about being when they are much younger and I am sure one that everything have at least heard about is Superman. Amazingly it seems that with super powers you actually become a super douche and if you are confused, let me explain.

As you can see on the panel on the right that one time Superman explained to Batman about how his parents died and I would be guessing that Superman thought it would be funny (wait until later) to not save Batman parents lives but finally Superman decides to tell Batman for some reason.

Superman and Batman looking into the future.

You may be thinking to yourself that is not so bad, but you would think seeing that Superman (Superboy then ?) would have been able to see Batman’s parents deaths right seeing that he had a telescope that could see into the future.

So not telling Bruce Wayne (Batman) that he will see his parents get shot right in front on him, he is way more interested in bragging about what he will become in the future. He may have also see everything else that happens in the future such as world events, terrorism and such but nah, he is way more interested in what he will become. Oh, and how does a kid get such a thing anyway.

Superman bullying Robin

It would not be so bad if Superman was just taking the piss with Batman but nah it does not end there. Remember how Superman is meant to be very strong and much more and you would think that if physical force was needed for something he would do it.

But you are wrong if you was thinking that. Not only does Superman put his feet up, but his face is basically just saying “LOL” while he just sits there grinning. Batman does the same but man, he is a whole completely different story which I will not post in this article.

Superman killing Lois … again

So you may be thinking he does not do a lot and that he does not do it to anyone he loves but you would be mistaken again.

Superman has a really bad habit of always killing Lois when something happens between them. Really, you would be surprised on how many times he “accidentally” killed her so many times. I can see him explaining to the police and they just go “whatever”.

Superman killing himself … again.

Well, killing someone is bad at the end of the day, but he does not stop there. Superman has another habit of “killing himself” just because he does not get what he wants.

Ya, even rape is on the table now.

You would be surprised on how often he does this. There is the one on the right and there so many others just because Superman could not get what he wanted. Although I am guessing him doing that is far better than actually threatening to rape someone. Although if that is what happened to you just there, I would fill sorry to what he does to this person here (Image: Click here)

Oh ya, Superman cheats on pretty much everyone but I am to lazy to keep putting more cover pages in.

Friendship … DENIED

Maybe it is all because he is an alien, but Superman is also well-known to not let people have any friends at all but a lot of times he would physically beat someone else up just because they either became friends with someone else or became friends with one of this friends.

Superman just randomly … why am I still writing these.

Wow, what a case of a really bad ego trip but it does not stop there at all. Of course Superman just does what he wants and if that includes randomly destroying the rails that a running train is currently using but hey he is Superman he can do whatever he wants!

Wahahaha, ruling the world is easy if you was Superman.

Although that being said, not only does he like randomly doing stuff but he even takes over the world at one point (well, he actually takes over the world a few times but this one has him wearing the Pope hat).

Is this the reasoning behind it all ?

By now you may be thinking you seen a lot, but it really does get more random. At one time, Superman (or Superboy) even took on and became Hitler … no, I am not making this up.

Superman being Hitler would have actually explained a lot of things and it would have told us why Superman acted how he was but on further research I found out that Superman’s father was also a cunt.

Finally, the source of it all.

Actually his father acting like that would have explained everything. It would make me wonder what his father was actually like. Come on, who in their right mind would send a dog into space for whatever reason it may have been.

Ya, even she is a bitch.

No wonder Superman is all fucked up in the head but hey, he is not the only one as even Supergirl turns her former boyfriends into stone which seems to be regardless of the reason they may have broken up for.

But there is still sweetness in it all. While Superman may have done all this bad things during his life that he has stood on trial so many times before for many crimes but he never actually seems to have anything happen to him which is actually quite sad to hear.

So yes, in like of all this – yes, Superman really is a cunt and it runs down his family blood line. That, or I have just taken all the front covers and such out of context.

10 thoughts on “Superman really is a cunt

  1. Wild Cat

    LMAO

    This is hilarious, I love the way you put this together …… I've never actually read any of those comics so I have no idea about the story-lines or plots other than what I've seen in the movie, I am sure most are taken out of context… but I almost wet myself when I first read it!! It must have taken some work to put all those images together, well done Snatty!, I can't wait for the next installment ( you promised one about Batman right?)

    Actually his father acting like that would have explained everything. It would make me wonder what his father was actually like. Come on, who in their right mind would send a dog into space for whatever reason it may have been.

    who indeed …

    Reply
      1. Wild Cat

        @Snat, yeah seeing as none of your readers even knew that it was about that….. they would not have searched for it 😉

        I was gonna bet that noone will work it out (maybe apart from your brother if he ever reads this article) and I see that by giving away the answer you wanted to prevent that – I would have won!!! (haha)

        So here goes, I might as well tell them all the name of the dog eh? Her name was "Lajka" (or how the English would spell it "Laika"):P

  2. Arjen

    Heh! Superman indeed isn't so much of a hero, more of an anti "hero", really. Although this isn't really prominent in the movies… I think. I'm not that big of a Superman fan.

    Reply

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