… so we survived Doomsday 2012

If you are reading this then you have access to the World Wide Web so listen up. We are the last few of the human race that has survived just like the Mayan said would happen. As you know either a black hole, the Sun blew up, Planet X hit us, zombies have returned, Jesus is here or the Internet isn’t working and civilization is on the edge of dying completely.

So the first thing you got to remember is to find a place to stay. Remember the most important thing to find is to get access to the World Wide Web so you can post online that you survived. The second thing is to want to make sure you take as many photos as you can of any weapons, or any food caches you have online so people know it is safe to come to you.

The next thing you want to remember is that no one will be a dick to you so although the world is going to the “shits”, do feel free to let random people into your safe hideout and allow them to come freely to get people to trust you. As soon as you have the trust of the people do feel free to let down your guard.

So after you found a place where you will be safe and got a supply of food and water, it is now time to start rebuilding the knowledge and cultures that we once had. The first thing you must do is find any websites that may still be online that have to do with our cultures such as 4Chan and Reddit and start wasting all the leftover ink and paper that we have printing all this out as well, how else are you going to be able to view pictures of cats with captions when the power around the world finally becomes rare and people start fighting over it in epic battles involving tic, tac, toe.

So there is not much more I can write about. Just be grateful that due to not leaving your room you have survived the start of the end of the world and now get to witness everything go to the dogs.

Good luck, you are going to need it.

… oh the world did not end?

… well this is awkward

… look behind you

… Oh you are still here. Damit. Well, the next Doomsday will be here in 2018–2028 or at the very least in c. 5,000,000,000 years or if that fails too 10¹⁰⁰ years.

Image courtesy of James Barker / FreeDigitalPhotos.net