Shut them up

Image: Maggie Smith / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It seems everyone either loves them or hates them but children are one of the most annoying things that exist on Earth. While children are needed to keep our genetic bloodlines going children should not have a free pass to do whatever the hell they like and get away with it.

The topic of children has come up before on Tweaked for your Pleasure but I just had to write and try just one thing. While I was in the British Library the other day just doing some peaceful research for a future blog article (yes, I was researching) some child was placed right next to me screaming as loud as she could.

I figured the mother who was with her would calm her down but she just went to quote exactly – “Aww how cute”. I then figured I would just hint a little about the noise but the mother still did not care. I then noticed all the other people and staff included were now getting fed up with this child so I thought I would just give the mother a kind notice. It went like this;

Me: Excuse me, you mind tending to your child.

Mother: Why should I. My child is welcomed to scream and cry.

Me: No she does not. Everyone here just wants peace and you are ruining it. This is the same as me putting a chain saw next to your ear and telling you I have the right to do so.

Mother: Fuck you. Screw you. You do not tell ME how to look after my child. You say one more thing I am going to report you to the police for trying to control me.

At this stage I thought to myself that she would be impossible to talk to and if I kept trying she would be more than sure to scream herself. Not knowing what to do I thought of something slightly clever. People keep calling me childish and while I am at it, I might as well try a little social experiment.

All I did was do a few simple things a child tends to do. I picked up books pushed them on the floor and then started kicking my feet. It was at this time the mother slowly started looking at me and said – “Stop that”. Now this is where it got quite interesting. I now know she was paying attention to me and started to get annoyed by the same actions her child was doing.

So what do you do? Do you keep going on or try to tell her what her child was doing? I thought nah why stop here and might as well carry on a little. So I decided then to act a little bit more childish at which time this mother did snap and yelled – “STOP THAT”.

After hearing that I only said a few words to her which was – “So your child can do it and it is fine. I do it and suddenly it is a problem. Tell her to shut up or be prepared for this”.

The mother just picked up her child and just walked out.

Ah yes, good times. Have you ever got annoyed about a random child that no one seems to want to do anything?


On a side note, I want to say two things. First, this is the new theme designed by Richard Mann and this is the first ever post to use the new theme. So send him love (no, not in that way). Also, what do you think about an image per post? Please do vote below.

Need to reference?

Ellis, M. (2010). Shut them up. [online] Snat's Narratives & Tales. Available at: https://snat.co.uk/rants/shut-them-up.html [Accessed 18 Mar 2024].


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