If life was like a RPG

I am sure that most people on Tweaked for your Pleasure have played a role-playing game but have you ever stopped to think what life would actually be like if we actually lived in a RPG style game. Well, I did today and this is what I came up with…

In the morning you would wake up and then decide what clothes you want to wear. There would be a few factors to decide would not really be much about fashion as no one in this world would be more important than you in any way shape or form but also you would think how much defense and other stats it would give you. Once you have decided you would go downstairs.

Now, once we got downstairs rather than actually eating anything you would just take the item of food you would normally eat and then perfectly store them away until need. Yes, that toast and fry up you could make would still be in perfect condition until you used it. However this naturally depends on how the world is feeling and whenever or not there is a new upgrade which would likely delete all your items anyway.

Now for the sake of logic, let’s go with a RPG based in modern times in which you are a student at a local college (which naturally, would end up being a college to fight something like magic wielding people in which one of them will try to unite them all into one time zone so she could try to rule the world at which point, you would be the only one to stop them). So you now leave your house and then set on the path to go to college which is the same as in real life but however with one main difference.

While you are walking to college, you may decide you want to walk into a house and then just take whatever you see in there such as drinks, weapons or money and no one will ever try to stop you other than in very rare cases at which time it would just be a warning.

Getting off topic for a few lines, so just jump this part if you do not want to read.

Getting off topic for a second, I wonder what those people must think and I am sure it goes something like this. In next example, you are Player.

Player 1: Enters the house and collects the savings that has been hidden.

Girl: Mummy, Daddy. Why is there a man taking all our stuff.

Father: QUIET. We do not question him.

Player 1: Takes the father’s clothes

Father: NEVER QUESTION !!!

End off-topic rant

Now once you have left the houses and taken all their savings, items and whatever else they have that is of any use you would then make your way to the college that you study at. Now once you actually get there a few things will happen. First you would meet up with your friend (this person either dies near the start, die during the actual story or live until the end if that person is lucky) who would then join your party at which time you would head to your first lesson.

So the lesson starts and this perfect looking women walks out and then starts teaching all of you about genetics (or something else that will always relate to what happens later). During this lesson, you would find one person (and of course, he will have a gang) will always try to out do you in the lesson. This person will become an enemy of yours due to either wanting to do “the right thing”, mind controlled or because he does not know what else to do. At this time, the person would tell you that they did not regret anything and that they was sorry for everything. After this, you will suddenly (or be told) about a back story relating to your rival.

Jumping back once again, once that lesson is over you would then be free to do whatever you want. This involves going around the college or the town in which you are unable to leave at this time. During this time you would get to the main town at which time you would very likely meet a women who is selling flowers. Something would happen to her at which time you would help out and then depart. Just by pure chance, you would once again meet this person inside a religious building (most likely a church with a broken roof) at which time she will explain to you that she is being spied on.

After some time, you will for some random reason no longer be able to get back to the college but do not fear at all, your best friend will be with you and also that random flower girl will be with you. Along the way, you will find either of the following:

  • A pilot
  • Former secret service
  • A Knight
  • A Mage
  • A King
  • A Hunter
  • A thief

You will have at least some of the above follow you on your quest around the world killing random animals and massive dragons.

Off topic again

I could see if the RSPCA exists in a RPG world. You would have them bitching at everything and hell, you wouldn’t even have to work. You would just go out and kill animals and somehow gain money.

And we are back

Now coming closer to half way, you would likely learn that you are not exactly human and by collecting random items such as genes that somehow still exist in the open air, you are able to transform into something like a dragon. However at this stage, you will not know exactly how to transform using these genes but finally you will get to a part where the main bad guy of your life would kill the flower girl. At this stage and in pure rage, you would then transform into your most powerful form (which would not be named after the Holy Roman Emperor’s title and my lawyers are telling me that what it looks like looks nothing like this thing called “Super Saiyans” from “Dragonball Z”).

After the death scene, you would then be able to use any of the genes you have collected at will. After some time you will finally get near the end. Naturally at this time, you would then learn there is a race that is the same as you and that naturally, you are the most powerful to beat some random person (who is controlling your rival)

After making your way over to the final place, you would then finally meet the final person who is trying to become some form of G-d. However once you killed the person that you would be given the final choice. It just so happened that the power you have can either destroy or save the world and that the choice is either kill yourself to save everything or live and destroy everything and then, that choice is yours.

Parts of this article was totally not stolen from Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain, Breath of Fire III, IV, Dragonball Z, Final Fantasy V, VI, VII, VIII